Poem: Invictus by William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate,

I am the captain of my soul.

Intellectual Ministry

When it comes to spiritual matters, something happens in my mind quite often that I easily overlook. I use my intellect to determine where I should be and how I should get there with spiritual maturity.

For someone like myself who has been ambitious in the business world and as a human in general, when I hear the Lord's speaking in my life in matters toward His Kingdom, I immediately use my own worldly planning skills.

Then I begin to rationalize pathways to “analyze" to His calling. That then puts me on a decision tree where I calculate the best learning and knowledge I could absorb to arrive faster.

I then set out to self-educate, I use the world's tools like YouTube, the Internet, Barnes & Noble, you know, the typical research. In a lot or cases, once I have gained an adequate amount of knowledge, I start comparing my own knowledge vs others. This leads me to feel I have to work really hard at this, then that, then I have to speak better, read better, go there, do that.

As warriors, we know we need sharpening by our Master throughout life. We know God is perfecting us and certainly did not create our soul to be passive - we must be sharpened.

But… As part of our training, we can never forget our Mighty Warrior and the way He teaches, not the way I have become accustomed to learn in the world.

God teaches in Spirit to our spirit in a spiritual way. No matter how hard we try to intellectually understand, represent and express God, He is unsearchable. Although God designed us to somewhat comprehend Him, He is incomprehensible. Our mind can simply not reach His level.

Our spirit can. That’s why He communicates to us our spirit. So, when I become ambitious toward God’s calling in my spirit, my mind immediately gets to work, because my mind trusts my intuition in my spirit. But my intellecg takes over, which has been trained by the world. Next thing I know, i’m well down the road with my own ways and plans.

This leaves me over complicating God's way of growing in me. It's by spirit. And we know that our spirit works in a very simple way, by being one in spirit with Him.

The way to be one in spirit wirh God by simply spending time with Him. We spend time with Him by eating and drinking Him, by becoming nourished. We eat and drink Him by very simple means, like the way we eat and drink physical food every day, we simply consume the Word, pray, fellowship, etc.

It takes time to become one with Him, but at the same time we already are. We know we are when we eat and drink. It's absolutely clear in spirit when we are connected with Him in oneness.

That's what God wants. Oneness with us. How can we understand what God’s will in us is if we are not in oneness with Him in spirit? I am not short in God’s purpose when I am one with Him. I am I am not confused, conflicted or passive when I am in oneness with Him. I am certainly not discouraged, jealous, nervous or full of expectations when I am in oneness with Him.

All I need is oneness with God to be in ministry. Intellectual ministry is not in oneness in spirit with God. I forget this way too often and there is only one thing that happens with intellectually ministry: too much wasted time.

I waste time preparing, pausing, perfecting, waiting, hoping, wishing, deciding, contemplating, avoiding, and most detrimentally, learning.

This time wasted is not oneness with Him. There is no time to waste in oneness with Him.

He just wants to be in us as the one New Man.

Amen.

Thinking of the Cross

My mind is unable to comprehend the work of the Cross.

What the Cross Accomplished for Me

God’s warriors can agree in the experience of their day of salvation. The moments we first felt the movement of our spirit connecting with The Spirit. It was not by our own natural thinking or understanding. In fact, our mind was at work to comprehend what was occurring and why. Despite our mind’s battle to comprehend the movement of The Spirit in us, we continued on toward the calling of our salvation.

What a glorious moment in life! In fact, as we encapsulate that moment and review it over and over again, we could all agree that was our most life-giving experience. Greater than money, greater than getting married, even greater than becoming a father. The moment was genuine, real, complete, absolute, unexplainable, rich and eternal.

Our salvation is also grace outpouring from our King. Logically, intellectually, it did not make sense. According to our natural experiences in this world, what did we do to earn forgiveness of our sins? What decision did we make to welcome our Father? It honestly made no sense. Quite frankly, it still doesn’t make any sense. Nonetheless, forgiveness was given freely and completely.

No matter how long our journey has been since our moment in salvation, we still cannot explain logically how or why it happened. In fact, our mind has always been diligently at work to counter our spiritual experience. Doubts, opinions, circumstances, situations, failures, knowledge and debates continuously attempt to rationalize that our experience was not real, sincere or justified.

But praise God for our spirit! Praise our King for His Spirit in us! No matter what happens, no matter how “smart” we become or how smart the world tries to be, our spirit in oneness with The Spirit is with us, forever. And it’s by that intuitive understanding that we continue to overcome. Thank you Lord for Your divine work on the Cross that has cleansed me of all sins and crucified my old man.

It’s by this work that objectively our King, our God, our Master, our Mighty Warrior, allows us to come home to Him and participate in His Kingdom. It positively has nothing to do with what I have done, what I am doing or what I will do. I am in God’s Kingdom because of God Himself, the Son and Spirit. I am a His warrior.

What the Cross Accomplishes in Me

Salvation is only the beginning of our experience of the Cross. From the moment of our salvation we know, by our spirit, that we are forgiven. This forgiveness brings us to God in oneness, and that’s the jubilee we experienced at the time of salvation. An unexplainable connection to our Creator.

Because we are still human and in this world, our rationalization and experiences set in to undermine our new reality in Christ. Rationalization from our mind, how we think, what we’ve been taught and what we believe. Experiences from this world, what it thinks, what it teaches and what it believes.

Our natural man wants to hang on to all it’s been taught. Yes, we have new revelation of our sins, and in a lot of cases, to the specific sins that initially stirred up our spirit. We recognize immediately the forgiveness of our sins by the Cross, but we may not recognize that our sin nature, our old man, has been crucified as well. So we may go on praising God for forgiveness of our sins, but our old man goes on living as normal with the addition of renewed life. This experience, however, is a conflict, a gray area. We need to be absolute, black and white. The problem is that our old man continues to live.

Our journey in life brings out the glory of the Cross. The Cross gave us access to God. The more we communicate with God, the more He sheds His light in our spirit. The more light we receive, the more we recognize the sin nature. The more we recognize our sin nature, the more we realize how much life our old man still has.

It’s at these moments of revelation of the life in our old man that things become challenging. What “man” wants to surrender his things? To surrender his love? His money? His ambitions? His dreams? There is no man, still living in his old natural man, that wants to die to all these things. Our pride is very strong.

Whether we realize it or not, in addition to our own old man strength, the world has taught us and relentlessly teaches us what a “man” is. Be successful, be smart, make money, be sexy, be a “man.” Movies, commercials, advertisements, pictures, videos, graphics and words bombard us. Wives, girlfriends, friends, parents, children, co-workers, bosses and enemies influence us. Even though God’s warriors are not of this world, we all too often, are still very much in this world.

But praise the Lord for His continued work through the Cross in us. We are told to take up His Cross daily: “Then Jesus told his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” Matthew 16:24.

This daily taking up of the Cross is the denying of our old man. It’s really a simple matter. So simple, the Lord gives us specific instructions to simply eat and drink Him: “Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you.” John 6:53. “For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in them. Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me.” John 6:55-57.

How do I eat the Lord’s flesh and drink His blood? Intellectually, this can be better understood by studying the Passover in Exodus 12. Spiritually, it is already understood. Eating and drinking. Consuming. Receiving. Digesting. Absorbing. Nourishing. We need God in us. The more God is in us, the more he detoxes us from the life of our old man.

The detoxification of our old man is an ongoing, daily process. The old man wants to live, because our old man thinking wants him to live. The world wants our old man to live, because that is all it knows. No matter where we are in our journey with God, He will continue to expose what we keep alive in the old man. God gave us new life. He doesn’t want an improved old man living. He wants His life in us for His purpose. Nothing else is acceptable. Nothing else will do.

God’s Kingdom is for His purpose. His Kingdom is His Kingdom. He is King. We are warriors in His Kingdom. God doesn’t want our opinions, our abilities, our concepts, our desires, our ambitions from our old man. He wants His opinions, abilities, concepts, desires and ambitions in His new man in us. In order to live out this new man God has given us, we must pursue Him, seek Him and communicate with Him daily, in spirit as the new man. This is simply by eating and drinking Him.

When it becomes complicated, that’s the old man. When we become fearful, that’s the old man. When we become ashamed, disappointed, discouraged, confused, intellectual, divisive, angry and remorseful, that’s a clear indication we are in the old man. The new man is one with God. The new man is walking in spirit. The new man is alive, fresh, pressing forward, invigorated, connected, secure, confident and complete.

The new man is the warrior in Christ for God’s Kingdom. The warrior says “come Lord Jesus.” The warrior says “let Your Kingdom come, let Your will be done.” The warrior worships. The warrior hates his old man. The warrior prays. The warrior eats. The warrior drinks.

And the best part of God’s reality is He is always available, He’s always free and He never runs dry.

Prayer: “Father. Dad. King. I admit I keep my old man alive. I don’t want him to die, but at the same time I do. I love him but at the same time I don’t like him. I know one thing for sure, I absolutely love You. I thank You for continuing to reveal anything in me that is not You. Nothing of myself satisfies me. Nothing of this world satisfies me. I can’t eat enough on this earth to be fulfilled. I can’t drink enough of myself and this world to be happy. I can’t be happy. No one can be happy. My old man longs for happiness. Only You satisfy me. You alone. I just want You. I simply come to You today and eat. I simply come to You and drink. I, in my old man, don’t have the ability to even approach You. Just like when it pleased You to save me, there was nothing that I did to earn or deserve You. It’s the same now Father. There’s nothing that I have done, am doing or will do in my old man that earns or deserves anything. So, I just eat and drink. I ask You, my Mighty Warrior, to put more of my old man on the Cross to die and continue to reveal more of Yourself in my new man. I want this new man. I am a new creation, I am more than a conquerer. I am going on with You, right now. Praise You Father for Your purpose in me. Thank You. May Your Kingdom come. May Your will be done. Amen.”

Comfortable Attack

Our mind is the battleground. We understand this clearly when our mind is at relative peace. But it is difficult for us to realize this fact when we are in the midst of outright war.

This morning I woke up with my mind racing with sinful thoughts. I was caught up in this battle, straight getting my butt kicked. I was totally vulnerable, mainly because I had all my armor off, resting and at peace. I was totally neutral, I was a sitting duck, I was comfortable.

It wasn’t fair. I was sleeping, like every other human every day, like I have slept thousands of times before. Let me tell you, this war is not fair. In fact, it never has been fair, ever.

My spirit began to nudge me to reality by speaking to my subconscious that the thoughts I was having were not from Him. You know, that soft speaking in our inner man that trickles in and says “no.” That’s my connected spirit with The Spirit that knows all things, that's my life source, that’s my purpose.

Here’s the deal. I was maybe 30% God’s man at that time, specifically in my spirit. My mind was already 100% captured by the enemy, my emotions were captured and my will was well on its way. My body would soon follow. I have to say, what great timing by the enemy to attack me when I was so vulnerable.

Because of my spirit’s beckoning, I became aware of the attack at least. Then I started my defense. I can say Amen to the fact I’m mature enough to become aware and start playing defense. But brothers, that’s just the problem. I was unaware and playing defense.

So long as I, a man of God, a soldier of Christ, remain unaware of the war between God and this world, Christ and the devil and Spirit and my flesh, I will continue to live a civilian life of being vulnerable, unaware and playing defense.

I don’t live the civilian life all the time. Sometimes I am a soldier, fully armed and on offense. “Good job brother!” No. NO! That is unacceptable to my calling from God. “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

I have been crucified. That is my reality. I no longer live. My issue with my experience is that I have not had a full realization of God’s plan in me. I continue to hold on to my old man with its sin nature. I continue to keep close the matters of this world. I expect to rest in this world, my own thoughts, my old self.

So, my prayer is “Father, You are glorious. Every thing and every person is Yours. You are the Master. You are the Alpha and Omega. Father I need You. I want You. Give me more revelation of Your will in my life. Activate me Father, show me Your plan, Your purpose constantly. Show me what You see when You look at Christ in me. Give me Your perspective of me. You don’t want my old man, You want my new man. I need this revelation Father. Fill my spirit with Your reality. Overflow to my mind, my emotions, my will and my body. Keep this world and enemy and my flesh away from Your purpose in me. I surrender to You Father. I praise You for all my experiences in the past, right now and the future. Let Your Kingdom come. Let Your will be done. Amen.”

Brothers. It’s time to play offense.

Mind Science.

A few years ago I visited a psychologist to talk about my divorce and other things in life. I had mentioned that one thing I was struggling with slightly was anxiety. He immediately said “above all other things going on with you, including your divorce, let’s tackle the anxiety issues first.”

The point of addressing the anxiety was that he knew I would continue to struggle with the other things until I dealt with the anxiety. He had me commit to eight weeks of sessions. I did that and I’m glad I did.

In our first session he asked me “how do you deal with your anxiety today and in the past?” I proceeded to discuss all the marvelous things I knew and used to deal with anxiety. Once I finished my 15-minute declaration, he immediately responded “now, I want you to unlearn everything you know about anxiety. We’re going to start over.”

Gotta say I was taken back a little from this comment. I had 15 years of experience in dealing with generalized anxiety, some panic attacks and so on. I never used medicine to deal with anxiety, which is something I was pretty proud of. I felt I had been able to “cope” with it pretty well, functioning in business and personal life pretty well.

In the next few sessions I began to understand better why I needed to “unlearn.” He taught me the science of the brain. Why I felt the way I did at times. Why I had anxiety to begin with. That my brain is functioning the way it’s supposed to in reacting to alarming circumstances.

To disclaim this post, I’m not a licensed therapist and you should talk to a professional if you struggle with anxiety or panic attacks or depression. But what I can say is that better understanding why your brain does what it does will help you. It helped me.

In a nutshell, the reality is that we humans are totally outside of our natural, created environment these days. We’re designed to watch our back for any attacks from nature. If we lived closer to our natural elements, snakes would be around, storms would be closer, bears and big cats would be lurking and it would be much harder to hunt/gather food. Our minds are designed to be working full-time. We’re designed to fight.

But in today’s civilized world, the bombardment of information and the convenience of technology, we find ourselves not really fighting with tangible things. After a long day of work, we escape with shows on the couch, feeding our minds with more information. Seemingly relaxing, it’s not. We’re becoming passive and comfortable. I mean, we don’t even let ourselves get cold or too hot anymore.

All the while, there are more intangible fears lurking. Finances, health, emotional drama, relationships and everything else that is more mental vs. physical. The more comfort we achieve physically, the more distant our alert mind becomes from physical threats and turns to intangible threats. The threats of bankruptcy, divorce, what Google says about our symptoms, what people say about you and comparing ourselves with others.

We end up just being worried for no reason. We may not even realize we are worrying until random anxiety or panic attacks rise up. Then, we wonder why and can’t seem to put our finger on the situation. This causes more panic and we think we are going out of our mind. But, we’re not.

Our minds were designed to fight. But we can’t see what we fight anymore. It’s good to understand the design of our mind better. Why it alerts us. Rest in the fact you are operating as intended.

This video is not necessarily about anxiety, but rather gives good insight to how the brain functions. Hope you enjoy.